Holiday Critic Pillows

"You know I don't celebrate Valentines."

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

More proof that Christmas has become way too commercial.

'...Lord, remember those greedy retailers who...are making folks like my mom work on Thanksgiving...'

"Greedy bastards."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

'I hate all holidays!'

'Where were the wise women?'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Bad gifts

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

'I think its being tapped.'

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

'...Then we thought, stuff Christmas, the world is full of naughty brats anyway.'

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

'I don't like this!'

'Santa's blotto.'

Secular Holy Days

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

'Of course I believe in Santa. Just not a publicly funded one.'

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

Santa's family holding firearms

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

"Staff, we're having a Cinco de Mayo sale this year!"

Today, Human Rights Watch sued a man named Santa Claus for discrimination against his employees by calling them 'dwarfs'.

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

Mobster tries to recruit Santa as a hitman.