Holiday Critique Pillows

He just screamed 'it's only sodding September' and knocked the tree over.

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

'I hate all holidays!'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

'...Then we thought, stuff Christmas, the world is full of naughty brats anyway.'

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

'Santa's blotto.'

'Hey Larry! Jim here! Haven't seen you since way last Christmas! How the heck are ya, dude?'

'I don't like this!'

Secular Holy Days

Santa's family holding firearms

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

"Staff, we're having a Cinco de Mayo sale this year!"

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

Today, Human Rights Watch sued a man named Santa Claus for discrimination against his employees by calling them 'dwarfs'.

"And this is where the magic happens."

Mobster tries to recruit Santa as a hitman.

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

Santa Sucks

"And then they literally have a parade."

"Because we caught him betting on them - that's why he can't play in any reindeer games."