Holiday Banter Lover Pillows

'Oi! Are you looking at my four calling birds?'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Elfie Stick

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Try me/try me/try me...

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

'He's got your nose.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

"I noticed a few browns."

Santa's Helpers

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

Christmas on Other Planets.

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."