Hockey Friction Gifts

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

Lemniskate

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

Hockey Season.

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

Zdeno Chara

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

Where the Deer and the Antelope Play...

The Real March of the Penguins.

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'Cool!! Your Dad lets you take accordian lessons??!!'