Hoarding Gifts

"Actually, I'm all ready for the pandemic. I still have everything from Y2K, SARS and the West Nile."

"I found some more acorns today."

'I am not a pack rat...I am a collector!'

"I bought a new canopener, but let's save the old one in case we ever have a need for a broken canopener."

'If it's my food supply for the winter then its different from hoarding.'

'Look what the neighbors were selling!'

"Frankly, I don't know why you read books on investment strategies: you're a hoarder and will never let go of your treasure..."

"I think we've hit peak rock."

"Honey, are you hoarding lawyers again?"

"One man's trash is another man's treasure. But in your case, another man's trash is ow your trash."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

The Online Shopaholic

"Dude, you're room's a mess! Gross! Is that your underwear?"

"We do have a wonderful art collection, but it has taken over somewhat: We either need to have a bower or get professional help..."

"Aren't you supposed to get rid of the old mobile, when you buy a new one."

Tonight Only!! The Pack Rat Pack!

"We saved all your old diapers."

"Did you hear? It turns out old power cords are really valuable! Good things Dad kept them!"

"Enough with the garage sales, Harold."

The Collector's Corner

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

"If we get a bigger place, we'll just accumulate more giraffes."

'That's our mission statement.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

Dictionary Sale - Now in High Definition.

"Boy, these are really overdue!"

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

Sign on a sale bin at a bookstore that reads "Latte-Damaged Books".