Historical Themed Humor Gifts

'It was his last request. 'Once around the park'.'

"You're on a what?!"

When laundry ruled the waves.

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Yes, all at once!'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

Moses unblocking the toilet.

"...it's another metal detector."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

The Algonquin Round Table

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

Gladstone Gives Disraeli a Bloody Nose over Schleswig-Holstein

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

Psychologist Birthdays

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."

A bath at Boulogne. - Appalling position of Mr and Mrs Tomkins, who had a jib horse when the tide was coming in.

"Your Majesty, this learned committee has done deep research on the subject, and we have come to one conclusion: queens often marry down."

'This one is for not making a pre-emptive strike against anyone questioning our authority to make pre-emptive strikes.'

"But I only restarted it three minutes ago."

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

"At first I thought a full size spare was a good idea, but now..."