Historical Tales Gifts

'If you didn't know how long a cubit was, you should have asked...'

The Star Guides the Three Wise Men (The Holy Bible).

"When we said 'Lead us not into temptation,' we didn't mean it had to be a DESERT!"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

A Hole in the Dike

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Warrior Woman

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Knights of the bedside table.

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

Rocket Ark

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

Siegfried and the dragon

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

'Front desk? Someone came in my room and ate the little candies on my pillow.'

Giant Headless Horseman

The day that William Tell bought his first crossbow.

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

'Giving to the poor is deductible, Mr. Hood, but taking from the rich is still problematic.'

"Those tights pinch and chaff. We're going commando."

Small steps...

"Class, Gracie's great aunt Carmen is here to share some fun Latino folk tales!"

'I've had to downsize because because of the credit-crunch!'

"Mr Piper, after a comprehensive study of your social media data I think we have a clear definition of your core audience."