Historical Stories Gifts

A Hole in the Dike

'Boy, will this drought ever end?'

'Of course they haven't been tested on animals!'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Papageno from The Magic Flute

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Silence of the Chickens...

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

The Elliot Ness monster.

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"We need to stop sharing one set of clothes."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

Moby Dick

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

"Remember when we had to get along on twenty-one dollars a month!"

'I told you we should have done the balloon toss.'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.