Hiring Domestic Staff Gifts

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

Ironing day.

The household cavalry

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"I have my pants put on one leg at a time."

"And this latest robot vacuum can fetch a glass of wine while it cleans your floors!"

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

'He has his pet and I have mine.'

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

"Oh c'mon, Phil. Everyone knows we only stay together for the giant tortoise."

The kitchen at Abel Cottage

Kit makes an appointment

Cook asking for her vinaigrette after recieving an offer from the dustman

Servant running after a couple dressed up for a fancy ball with the door-key

"Sorry, we have to let you go. You've grown too tall for our cubicles."

'Oh my god, it's the Grim Housekeeper!'

"Somehow, my wife pinned me to her taskbar."

"OK, honey, if I make this one, we blow off Delia's recital."

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'

Maid

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

Labor abuse

"Synchronized sitting"

Cook in interview explaining she left her last post because her employee did not like her singing

"Clark...is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

Capturing a Cook

'You told me I should run the house like a business, so what am I bid for dinner?'