Domestic Task Trooper Gifts

'Hey, don't look at me - you're the one who cut off the laundry tags because you found them itchy!'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

'He has his pet and I have mine.'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

Those missing socks...where do they go?

Darlene, my intelligence tells me that your fiance is a slob. What intelligence, Rudy? Surveillance photos – dirty clothes and towels thrown on the floor. Dishes piled up in the sink. That's my Mel? How did you get those? Top-flight government spy methods. House of Java.net Cybercafe.

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

"Somehow, my wife pinned me to her taskbar."

'Making a To-Do List is on my Bucket List.'

"I investigated your husband, Mrs Adams. He isn't cheating on you. In fact, I'm your husband. We've just really lost touch recently."

'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).

"There's food in the fridge, and clues about the state of our marriage all around the house."

"We really need to have our rugs vacuumed professionally one of these days."

"Well he's sweating, pale, and out of breath, but then again he's not used to being home doing the housework."

'In another universe parallel to our own.'

"Marie has been planning for my retirement for years."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"I can smell his fear of commitment."

'I love to watch them going round and imagine Fred in there with them.'

"All I said was, 'I'll take out the garbage when I'm ready'."

Distracted young couple let hot water overflow

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."

'Herbert just loves to help with the dishes.'

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?' 'Why can't it be both?'

'This is a list of all the things you need to do around the house when you get your parole.'

"You killed it, you clean it."

The good news is, I'm granting your request for house arrest. The bad news is your wife's to-do list.

Anteater's Washing Day

Obstacles for women

"They're not just my eggs. They're your eggs, too."