Hiring A Babysitter Pillows

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

'Please let it be burglars and not the sitter cracking up again!'

'Please let it be burglars and not the sitter cracking up again!'

"The sitter's here, honey!"

"The babysitter wants to know where you keep your vodka?"

"Get me away from this crazy person..."

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

The Baby Walker

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Coping with a strong-willed child

"I'm bored."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

Baby Hairstyles.

A baby playing on a grand piano

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.