Starting Babysitting Job Pillows

'Thanks for the offer to baby sit him, and don't worry, he's not a fussy eater: Any dung you can find will do...'

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

The Baby Walker

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Coping with a strong-willed child

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"I'm bored."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

Baby Hairstyles.

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"No es problema para mi si no es problema para ti."

A baby playing on a grand piano

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

Changing the baby.

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'