Starting Babysitting Job Pillows

'Thanks for the offer to baby sit him, and don't worry, he's not a fussy eater: Any dung you can find will do...'

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

The Baby Walker

"Look Mommy, hat!"

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

Coping with a strong-willed child

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"I'm bored."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

A baby playing on a grand piano

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

Baby Hairstyles.

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"No es problema para mi si no es problema para ti."

Changing the baby.

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...