New Babysitting Job Pillows

Today's Babysitter

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

The Baby Walker

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Coping with a strong-willed child

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"I'm bored."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

A baby playing on a grand piano

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

"No es problema para mi si no es problema para ti."

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Baby Hairstyles.

Changing the baby.

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'