Hipster Outlook Pillows

"It's from the We Experience Parenthood More Fully Than You collection."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Old rocker.

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Spontaneous Kombucha

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

The Organic

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

Woke Jersey Shore

A train's dining car is a diner.

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

'Coffee and Converstion' vs. 'Beer & Bullshit'