Hipster Outlook T-Shirts

"It's from the We Experience Parenthood More Fully Than You collection."

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

Wifi in Hell

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Joined at the hipster.

Emergency Hipster Beard

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Old rocker.

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Spontaneous Kombucha

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Your Guide to Winning Movember

The Organic

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

Woke Jersey Shore

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

A train's dining car is a diner.

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."