Hipster Wannabe T-Shirts

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Wifi in Hell

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Old rocker.

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"He's deliciously vintage."

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Spontaneous Kombucha

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

A train's dining car is a diner.

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."