Hipster T-Shirts

Designer Republic of Shoreditch

"Washing instructions...don't"

Gentrification of the Fridge.

'Loosen your belt a notch, David. Your underwear's not showing.'

"It's a fashion statement!"

"I love being a non conformist."

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

The youth pastor and worship leader compete for the skinniest jeans award.

"I only drink Arts and Crafts beer."

"Do you have anything new. . ?"

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"The truth is, your church is too hip for us."

"Mind if we go through the Park? There's this ailing ginkgo tree I want to check on."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

Man's sideburns move and gnash teeth. Friend says: 'I think the rule for sideburns is: they're too long when they start evolving.'

"It's not that I'm opposed to beards, Lawrence. . ."

"Not now - I'm mime-texting yoga porn!"

"You remind me of myself six months ago."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Old rocker.

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"