Hipster Guru T-Shirts

"The meaning of existence is this thirty-two-dollar jar of salt."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Old rocker.

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Spontaneous Kombucha

Your Guide to Winning Movember

The Organic

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

A train's dining car is a diner.

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Woke Jersey Shore

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

What your guitar says about you.