Hipster Holidays Pillows

Gluten-free Santa

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Emergency Hipster Beard

Old rocker.

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Your Guide to Winning Movember

Spontaneous Kombucha

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

The Organic

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

A train's dining car is a diner.

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."