Hipster Haven Pillows

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"It's lactose-free! It's chemistry-free! It's free from animal by-products! It's the milk without milk!!!"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Wifi in Hell

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Joined at the hipster.

Old rocker.

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

Your Guide to Winning Movember

Spontaneous Kombucha

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

The Organic

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."