Hipster Haven T-Shirts

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"It's lactose-free! It's chemistry-free! It's free from animal by-products! It's the milk without milk!!!"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Emergency Hipster Beard

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Old rocker.

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

Spontaneous Kombucha

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

The Organic

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"