Hip Operation Enthusiast Gifts

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

On the brink.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Titanic: How's my steering.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

Sir Edward Elgar

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

"How long have you felt like a three-masted schooner?"

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

'You have an 85% chance of surviving this and 20% chance of wishing you hadn't.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Surgery Instructions.

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Need tickets.

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

Joint Replacement Specialist has 3 boxes on desk: "Hip", "Hip", "Hooray."

Anatomy.

He really puts his heart into it!

"I'd like to report this stowaway I discovered two weeks ago, Captain."

Several of the med students had been cheerleaders when they were undergrads.

Captain Thomas Coram.