
'I knew the marriage wouldn't last...She brought a date to our wedding.'
Celebrate their sharp wit with a T-shirt that’s as bold and hilarious as they are—ideal for making a comedic statement wherever they go.
'I knew the marriage wouldn't last...She brought a date to our wedding.'
'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'
'Would you all please congatulate...'
'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'
"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever
'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'
'It's your turn to put the cat out.'
"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."
'...60, 80 - whoa! - a hundred bucks! Okaaaay, you've got 20 minutes.'
Why do they prefer a pitcher to a belly itcher? Everyone loves a belly itcher!
'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'
The Big Four debate banking ethics
"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."
'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'
Hades Weather Channel. Tomorrow will continue gloomy with lots of scattered firestorms and high pressure fronts. And, as always, an infinitesimal chance of freezing over.
Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.
'Whoa! Time out. The loud guy in the white shirt is right - that was a ball. My mistake. Sorry everyone. Thank you, sir.'
'I just got text-heckled!'
"Well... Can't say I'm surprised!"
'I'm afraid you're going to have to stay with us for a thousand years, but your sins are tax-deductible.'
'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'
'Foul ball!!'
"Stop reading this stupid paper."
Puppet Audience
'So where are you going?'
Angel Puppet.
We should be fine, provided we keep one pitchfork apart.
J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'
"Sorry, my bad."
"OOOOWWOOO!"
"Can you believe it's autumn already?"
"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"
Careful - the coffee's room temperature.
'Why do they use that stuff? I mean, OK, it gives them a vocal advantage. But steroids ruin the integrity of heckling.'
Last chance to heckle a Yankee, next 150 miles.
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