Heckling Enthusiast T-Shirts

I hear you own a small plane. You will fly me to Scotland. Scotland? They're trying to break away from the United Kingdom. It's history in the making. Naturally, I must be there to heckle it. Sorry, Sadie, I have a hot date. BUT A COHEN HAS BEEN HECKLING HISTORY EVER SINCE SADIE THE ELDER TOLD CAESAR THOSE KNIVES MADE HIM LOOK FAT! Sorry. A date's a date.

'Why do they use that stuff? I mean, OK, it gives them a vocal advantage. But steroids ruin the integrity of heckling.'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

"I hate open-mike night."

Not waiting for someday to look back on this and have a good laugh.

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

Why do they prefer a pitcher to a belly itcher? Everyone loves a belly itcher!

'...60, 80 - whoa! - a hundred bucks! Okaaaay, you've got 20 minutes.'

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

"Did I say Henny Youngmen? I meant to say Sergei Prokofiev."

"Nice, but not Pavarotti''

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

Children playing with scissors in the nursery

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

'Whoa! Time out. The loud guy in the white shirt is right - that was a ball. My mistake. Sorry everyone. Thank you, sir.'

'I just got text-heckled!'

'Sorry, not tonight: My mum said you can't come over for a sleepover during the full moon anymore...'

'Foul ball!!'

"We learned about the 10 commandments, but I bet my parents will add a few of there own!"

"No you can't take Timmy howling at the moon tonight: It's a school-night!"

Puppet Audience

"Stop reading this stupid paper."

"Why is this quarterback still playing?"

'Don't look now, but the winner of last season's 'The Biggest Heckler' is here.'

"Okay, I'm sitting up. What's up?"

Marvin preferred the old fashioned way of arguing, before instant replay.

'I knew the marriage wouldn't last...She brought a date to our wedding.'

Tommy Cooper's Recycling Facility - Bottle/Glass/Glass/Bottle/Bottle/Glass.

'I won't be howling at the moon tonight. I've joined a barbershop quartet.'

"How nice to be misunderstood in more than one language!"

"Yes, you'll do it? Or yes, you wish I were dead?"

Last chance to heckle a Yankee, next 150 miles.

"OOOOWWOOO!"