Heckling Humorist T-Shirts

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Bailiff."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Repeat after me..."

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

'...60, 80 - whoa! - a hundred bucks! Okaaaay, you've got 20 minutes.'

"Guilty times infinity."

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'

Shakespeare in the Industrial Park

Hades Weather Channel. Tomorrow will continue gloomy with lots of scattered firestorms and high pressure fronts. And, as always, an infinitesimal chance of freezing over.

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

'Whoa! Time out. The loud guy in the white shirt is right - that was a ball. My mistake. Sorry everyone. Thank you, sir.'

'Your first trial?'

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

"Well... Can't say I'm surprised!"

'No, I'm not on trial here. I'm on the jury!'

That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.

'We had to bring a judge out of retirement, but we got you a speedy trial.'

"It's a new signal to specify that we don't need Robin."

"Stop reading this stupid paper."

"I'd remind you not to fly too close to the sun, but no one's ever accused you of aiming too high, have they?"

Fishermen catching each other as fish looks on.

"Are you sure you should be on this list?!"

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

Angel Puppet.

"Pierce and Pebble, Solicitors. Here's a writ for you to appear in court for harrassment of our client, Dr Faustus."

'I knew the marriage wouldn't last...She brought a date to our wedding.'

'Oh good! I hate long lines.'