Heckling Humorist Gifts

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Bailiff."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Repeat after me..."

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

'...60, 80 - whoa! - a hundred bucks! Okaaaay, you've got 20 minutes.'

"Guilty times infinity."

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

Shakespeare in the Industrial Park

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'

'Your first trial?'

'We had to bring a judge out of retirement, but we got you a speedy trial.'

"Well... Can't say I'm surprised!"

"It's a new signal to specify that we don't need Robin."

'No, I'm not on trial here. I'm on the jury!'

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

"I'd remind you not to fly too close to the sun, but no one's ever accused you of aiming too high, have they?"

"Stop reading this stupid paper."

Fishermen catching each other as fish looks on.

'I knew the marriage wouldn't last...She brought a date to our wedding.'

Angel Puppet.

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

'Oh good! I hate long lines.'

"Pierce and Pebble, Solicitors. Here's a writ for you to appear in court for harrassment of our client, Dr Faustus."

"Are you sure you should be on this list?!"

"Why is this quarterback still playing?"