Heckler Humorists Gifts

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'I got an F today - for improper interfacing with my computer.'

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

A Semicolon.

Inappropriate horse whispering.

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

Hellbillies.

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

'And so, Ladies and Germs, I conclude that we must promote homeopathy! This may be our best chance to wipe out the human race since the glory days of the Black Plague.'

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

'I just got text-heckled!'

When rednecks and techies network.

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

"I picked this up from the humans. . . two metre gap. . . gives us a much wider spread."

'The holes in this hay net are getting smaller! What are you trying to say buddy?!'

"Ask me about my long face."

Bit on the Side

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

"Stop reading this stupid paper."