Hilarious Heckler Gifts

'I knew the marriage wouldn't last...She brought a date to our wedding.'

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'...60, 80 - whoa! - a hundred bucks! Okaaaay, you've got 20 minutes.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'

'I just got text-heckled!'

"Well... Can't say I'm surprised!"

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

'I'm afraid you're going to have to stay with us for a thousand years, but your sins are tax-deductible.'

'Foul ball!!'

Puppet Audience

"Stop reading this stupid paper."

We should be fine, provided we keep one pitchfork apart.

'So where are you going?'

Angel Puppet.

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"Can you believe it's autumn already?"

'Why do they use that stuff? I mean, OK, it gives them a vocal advantage. But steroids ruin the integrity of heckling.'

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

Last chance to heckle a Yankee, next 150 miles.

"Sorry, my bad."

'The wolves' annual convention had barely started when Betty began to heckle the speaker.'