Live Performance Heckler T-Shirts

Puppet Audience

Zombie standup

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Anna Calvi

"This next one's another oldie."

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Theatre Crowd

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Eric Clapton.

"Free Bird!"

"Tong!"

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

Plum jam...

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

Ginger Baker.

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

"Here's a request from someone who'd like to hear something in tune for a change. Oh, we have a comedian out there, I see."

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

I think we should stick to doing this with a piano.

"When it comes to good, old-fashioned roots music, this guy is the BEST!"

Strong Female Lead

A man and a woman discussing the skill of the pianist.

"He's got a great future behind him!"

'I'd like now to do a blues number, for those of you here on Viagra. It's called - Woke up Early One Morning.'

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

Mick Jagger