High School Gifts

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

Prom 2020

"Stop the clowning, Johnson. The final isn't going to be all that bad."

"C'mon. She's clearly just a rebound girl."

'Check out the new guy. He's totally got those, don't-hate-me-just-because-I-might-be-a-vampire eyebrows.'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"When Jeff used to punch me in the arm in second grade to show he liked me, it was cute. But now...."

'Sorry, it's not programmed to find you a date.'

Springdale High School Class of 19...: Most likely to succeed...Most likely to recede.

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"It does seem like a school-approved activity."

"I heard smart girls like smart guys."

"How'd you do on that big makeup test?"

"If conformity ever raises its ugly head at this school, I'm out!"

Admit it! You're gonna miss High School. Best 5 1/2 Years of Your Life.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

"Three more years of high school."

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

Back to school.

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

Good Luck in your Exams.

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"Feel my claw of death!"

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."