High School Teachers Gifts

"I cheated a little in high school, the teachers cheated, the principal cheated, and here I am."

Children's Parties

Campaign for Plain English

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

Changing Minds

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

Non-Denominational Carols

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

"He just said his first word!"

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

The Evolution Of Man.

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

'A is for Arse.'

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

Burnout Syndrome...

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"Mom, can you come get me?"