High School Teacher Gifts

Mr, Gilford had a knack for making high school physics fun,

"What do I do? I'm a high stress teacher. I mean a high school teacher."

"Who would like to discuss the concept of free will?"

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

Physical Education.

"We can't e-mail our homework, can we?"

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"For the hundredth time—I have no idea how to make crystal meth."

"Sara, we're shutting down your energy efficient home display until Andy's volcano is dormant again."

"Feel my claw of death!"

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"Look, I gotta go...traffic's getting a little crazy."

"Cut the drama, Baldo...and have a great summer."

'Look at the bum on that Wayne, is she that girl that worked at the Burger Shack?'

"Baldo! That's great news! Don't even think about quitting school!"

Don't you hate... biology class practical jokers.

Here's eco club's green-prom tip sheet. Let's see. Wear vintage clothing. Buy locally grown corsage flowers. Use biodegradable cups and plates. Eco club. This is so obvious. How about the tough stuff? Ok. Who knows where to recycle gel pads from push-up bras? The place that takes the fake hair extensions?

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

Your "debate club" is just a shoutfest. I'm outta here! Pleease? We really need you. Why? You've got lots of members. But you have a, umm, distinctive voice. That's nice, but

Welcome to algebra. As freshmen, you are the unknown variable X. After 32 years, I ask myself Y?

A Puppet Named Juan

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Where your mind & battle are los

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Ethics exam cheater.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."