Schoolteacher Gifts

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

"It's Billy's teacher. She's just calling to say how much she detests him."

Even while eating she developed exciting lesson plans for unexpected tests.

"Answer your question? You mean in real time?"

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

"Well, it's not wrong if you consider the alternative facts."

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

Tribute to Samuel Paty

A Puppet Named Juan

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Where your mind & battle are los

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Ethics exam cheater.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Louis Armstrong

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Computer Room.

Gender Equality

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."