Primary School Teacher Gifts

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

"Every day it's the same. My class starts out as Sesame Street and ends up as Jerry Springer."

'I'm playing St. Patrick in the school play. I need a miter and ten thousand snakes by Friday.'

Homework eating dogs

'We need to learn this just incase our calculators or computers are down, right?'

'Do you think our teacher liked kids when she was one?'

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

First day at school

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"No question is stupid when all the questions are stupid."

"I'm learning to read too."

'Take it from me - after all, I'm in the second grade - learning is a slow, slow process.'

Classroom

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"But this book is just the alphabet all jumbled up..."

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

Early 3D technology applied to a book - creating a pop-up book

"All the letters in the alphabet are one-syllable words. Tell that to "W"."

Little doctor. Little Quack

Crayo-Blah

"My teacher believes in performance enhancing hugs!"

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

'Kindergarten sounds a lot like a cult to me!'

"It's fine the know your ABCs and your colors, but really you just have to be able to sit still and control your bladder."

"It's days like this that make me glad I became a teacher."

"I particularly like the juxtaposition you have created between the utilitarian form of the house and the nature that surrounds it. You could enhance this through a bolder use of primary colours."

"My father tried to help me tell time, Mrs. Davis, but I couldn't tell which of my hands was bigger to show the hour!"

"Miss Gordon's morning classes, and of course, Miss Gordon's afternoon classes."

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"When people say 'Do the math,' is this the kind of thing they're referring to?"

"Please turn now to 'Judy's mirror' in your copy of 'Pat the Bunny.' "

A Puppet Named Juan