Elementary School Teacher Gifts

"Before I read about my summer vacation, I'd like to ask that all pagers, beepers, and cell phones be turned off."

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

"I've learned from the past. Now can we move on?"

'It's for cutting and pasting.'

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"No question is stupid when all the questions are stupid."

'Miss Cole hung it right next to Eddie Doan's sun.'

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

Student to teacher about flash cards: 'When did they add emoticons to the cards?'

"If we could do anything right now...? We'd return to our respective homes and forget we'd ever met."

"I taught my dog to sit last night. That's one down, twenty eight to go."

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

'Mrs, Finnegan put me in the accelerated recess program'

"It's days like this that make me glad I became a teacher."

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

"Okay, this is the final week of Hispanic heritage month...let's explore the ramifications of 15th century Spanish colonialism."

'I wanted to bring our pet in today but like I had to ask my Dad's permission and I couldn't find him, so here it is!'

"If a teacher makes $40,000 a year, and her mortgage is $2200 a month...."

'Where've you guys been? it's call 'show and sell' now. I cleared sixty-eight bucks this week.'

"So whadda you think about my imaginary friend now?"

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

"He shows great artistic pretension."

No, it's not a rating system. A first-grade teacher is not necessarily better than a third-grade teacher.

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"'A', I'm adorable."

"When people say 'Do the math,' is this the kind of thing they're referring to?"

A Puppet Named Juan

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Where your mind & battle are los

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."