Elementary School Gifts

'What a day. I had a close encounter of the 3rd grade kind.'

"Look, Emily. We have no chemistry. All we have is recess."

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

Ethics exam cheater.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Computer Room.

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

I will study my speling words...

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

"Sign my yearbook?"

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

Boy and girl at thier studies

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Happy kids running abount with a 'Schools out' banner

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"Three more years of high school."

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Could I ask just one question?"

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."