High School Teachers Pillows

"I cheated a little in high school, the teachers cheated, the principal cheated, and here I am."

Campaign for Plain English

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

Changing Minds

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Non-Denominational Carols

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

"He just said his first word!"

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

The Evolution Of Man.

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

Arthur Schopenhauer

'A is for Arse.'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

Burnout Syndrome...

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"Mom, can you come get me?"