High School Student Gifts

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Jimmy soon came to regret his choice of instrument.

"I won't be in tomorrow. I'm taking a personal snow day."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Tia Carmen, can you make Sylvia Sanchez, the prettiest girl in school, look me in the eye and ask about my feelings."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Department of Nanotechnology

"How was prom?"

Don't you hate...

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'Why not take some time off after high school...travel a bit...get a job...make some money...pay your own way through college.'

'The Prom Dress: One Week Later'

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

Welcome to algebra. As freshmen, you are the unknown variable X. After 32 years, I ask myself Y?

"Well, team, we've been officially disqualified. You can come out of there, Tyler."

The end of innocence

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

"For the hundredth time—I have no idea how to make crystal meth."

High School

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

Southwick College: Basically, for the most part, usually - a meritocracy.

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'