High School Student Gifts

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Jimmy soon came to regret his choice of instrument.

"I won't be in tomorrow. I'm taking a personal snow day."

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Tia Carmen, can you make Sylvia Sanchez, the prettiest girl in school, look me in the eye and ask about my feelings."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"Feel my claw of death!"

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Department of Nanotechnology

"How was prom?"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Don't you hate...

'Why not take some time off after high school...travel a bit...get a job...make some money...pay your own way through college.'

'The Prom Dress: One Week Later'

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

"Well, team, we've been officially disqualified. You can come out of there, Tyler."

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

Welcome to algebra. As freshmen, you are the unknown variable X. After 32 years, I ask myself Y?

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

The end of innocence

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

High School

"For the hundredth time—I have no idea how to make crystal meth."