High-def Skeptic Pillows

'I preferred it before we had high definition television.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

I.T. Fear

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

Alternative Medicine

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Privacy

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

"Tarzan no want computer."

Diner is served

"Oh, this? It can access every piece of knowledge from the history of mankind and I hate it."

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!