High-def Skeptic Gifts

'I preferred it before we had high definition television.'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

I.T. Fear

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

Alternative Medicine

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

Privacy

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

I Value Your Privacy, So I'm Keeping It.

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

Diner is served

"Tarzan no want computer."