Herbivore Humorist Gifts

"I'm sorry. But being a vegan doesn't give you a free pass."

The gardener is a vegetable lover but not a vegetarian.

Vegetarian Watch confronts a notorious carnivore.

"A Mister 'Ty Gurr' wants to reserve a table next to our fattest customer."

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

Dinosaur to dinosaur eating caveman: 'Don't be ridiculous, you're herbivorous.' ('Exactly. His name was Herb.')

"Of course you'd rather eat a hundred dozen jelly donuts..."

'The vegie burgers are ready Darling...'

"What you smell son is called a cigarette: A sure sign that humans are around and we should flee..."

"Who ordered just a green salad?"

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"Two vegans, please."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Medicinal plants

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

Modern Witch Shoppe

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

'That was the best 'Filet Magnon' I've had in a while.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

A sheep ordering in a restaurant - the sole item on the menu is grass.

Free salad bar.