Herb Aficionado Gifts

"I'm in herbs—celebrating the ancient link between women and plants."

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

"Tia Carmen, you used to work in a beauty shop, didn't you?"

Too much cilantro

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"I've seen a tulip before."

'What great fall blooms. These flowers make yummy pumpkin pie spice!'

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

Bonsai Exhibit

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

'Oh yes I talk to them all the time. Except the aspidistra. Not since the argument.'

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

Topiary: When the written word isn't enough

You have the flu. Get plenty of rest and avoid lots of fluids.

"Medical marijuana hotline...press hash to continue."

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

"Have you got any man eating plants?"

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

Plant Lady

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

Nobody warned Marge that a side effect of a hip replacement is feeling more hippy.

Caterpillar Paranoia

'He may have green fingers, but he's got dirty finger nails!'

House Plant Party

"You spoil that plant!"

This plant is a lousy malingerer!

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

We'll cling together just like the Ivy.

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

"You just need a few sprigs to spice up your meal Sir..."

Gardening.

"It's time to bring in the wax begonias and your mother."