Hens Gifts

Hen Night

Game Hen on a Downward Spiral: 'What the hell. I ain't no chicken! I'm bettin' it all!'

Silence of the Chickens...

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

The search for Bigfoot continues for a group of women who know that if his feet are THAT big...

"Hurray! I just got born!"

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

Dogs and Chickens

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

Last night of freedom.

'She says she has a prenatal appointment.'

'Careful, it's not politically correct to say I rule the roost anymore...'

"Irma, cancel all my appointments for the next 3 weeks, I need to go home to brood. Tell the board to only contact me on my mobile phone..."

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

'Ouch! I'm glad I didn't lay him.'

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

"No, I'm not a stripper – I'm a real fireman, and you're exceeding the maximum capacity for this room."

'She thinks of them as her children...'

"I'm trying to cross a hen with a dog. . .For pooched eggs."

'Dang! The water's expired.' (Spring Water).

The Hen Commandments.

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'Now where did I lay my comb?'

"I'm off girls...gonna make the most of being an empty nester, while it lasts!!"

A doctor without borders meets a free range chicken.

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

The Happiest Hen in Abingdon.

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'

"And now we just relax, settle down, and smother them until they crack."

"I don't care who came first, you still need reservations."

'Ah, you must be the cleaner. I'm the dirtier.'