Hens Pillows

Hen Night

Game Hen on a Downward Spiral: 'What the hell. I ain't no chicken! I'm bettin' it all!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Silence of the Chickens...

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

The search for Bigfoot continues for a group of women who know that if his feet are THAT big...

"Hurray! I just got born!"

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

Dogs and Chickens

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

Last night of freedom.

'She says she has a prenatal appointment.'

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

"Irma, cancel all my appointments for the next 3 weeks, I need to go home to brood. Tell the board to only contact me on my mobile phone..."

'Careful, it's not politically correct to say I rule the roost anymore...'

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

'Ouch! I'm glad I didn't lay him.'

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

'She thinks of them as her children...'

"No, I'm not a stripper – I'm a real fireman, and you're exceeding the maximum capacity for this room."

"I'm trying to cross a hen with a dog. . .For pooched eggs."

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'

The Happiest Hen in Abingdon.

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

"I'm off girls...gonna make the most of being an empty nester, while it lasts!!"

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

'Now where did I lay my comb?'

"And now we just relax, settle down, and smother them until they crack."

"I don't care who came first, you still need reservations."

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

'Ah, you must be the cleaner. I'm the dirtier.'

"So, Dona Carmen...what's wrong with Rogelio?"