Hen Enthusiast Gifts

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'Pretend you don't notice him.'

A series of cameras go through a war zone.

Working from OM.

I'm color blind, please help.

These colour charts are ridiculous... coal' black, 'midnight' black, 'licquorice black'.' - 'There's too much choice! All I want is plain old boring bl-' - 'Ooooooh... 'panther' black.' -

'I'm redecorating my den and need a 16 point buck for the wall - see to it, Pendleton!'

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

The optician's arrival ended Phil's short sightedness and his 15 year island exile.

Zen Litter Box

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

The euro debt crisis shown as a sign for disabled access

"You don't need me. You don't need anyone. You are Americans."

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

'It counts as one of your five portions a day.'

French Street.

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'