Hellscape Adventurer Gifts

'Steam from the boiler turns the turbine which then powers the air conditioner.'

"Good game."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Binary Man

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

Child in a bear suit.

Parachuting bishop.

An x-ray reveals a man imprisoned in the mind of another man.

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

'And so you can imagine our surprise when we discovered our hall closet was the gateway to hell!'

Spiritual Show Observed by the Grim Reaper.

Hippie Edibles Co.

'That's far enough for the first trip -- gather some soil samples and initiate re-entry procedures.'

"Do you ever get to the point where you think if you read another book you'll burst, but you do anyway, and you don't burst?"

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

'I'm prescribing a patch to help you get over your inhibitions. Put it over your eye and pretend you're a pirate!'

"If only you knew. . ."

'Oh, it's about what I expected...I'm on hold for eternity to some tech rep in India.'

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

"...all this time Timmy is spending in cyberspace is beginning to affect him."

"Seems you Americans, you have lost your mojo, yes?"

This place makes me jumpy...

'Do you remember our first date?', 'Sure I do! --'long ago, in a Ford Galaxie far away....''

End of the World 8 Miles, Next Exit 10 Miles.

'Gee, I'd like to help you folks out, but I'm just a character assassin.'

"Good news! Our septic tank is shot."

Devil skis down a volcano.

Man digging real grave for Halloween.

"Have you seen my stash?" "No. But have you seen the giant flying fire breathing chickens in the kitchen?!"

"I thought I knew Venice quite well, but I don't recognise any of this at all."

"Nobody knows your dead on the Internet."