Hellish Joke Teller Pillows

'I'm afraid you're going to have to stay with us for a thousand years, but your sins are tax-deductible.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Shampoo.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

How about going easy on the carbs

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

"It's good news, Mrs Fenton - Your laughter is no longer infectious!"

"From this you make a living?"

Meowlzebub

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

Giraffe wanders into Lion country.

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

'I'm not being funny, right, but ...'

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

Bull Pen

"I'm glad you think it's funny."

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

"Is this fake noodle." "Yes, impasta."