Hell Pillows

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"From this you make a living?"

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

Religious texts from heaven and hell find common ground...they are made in China.

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"I've been working on this project non-stop, twenty four-six!"

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

A Kangermoo

You are Here

Heaven and Hell

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

Hades Weather Channel. Tomorrow will continue gloomy with lots of scattered firestorms and high pressure fronts. And, as always, an infinitesimal chance of freezing over.

Devil with Fire and Brimstone In-Trays.

'On a more positive note, your hot flashes will seem relatively cool.'

'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'

'Don't get me wrong - hell is awful, but it could be so much more hellish. We have much to learn from them.'

Jimmy Hoffa in hell.

"I made a nice zucchini bread."

"Oooooh, can we stop there? That's the one where they're super dumb and funny."

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

"Well... Can't say I'm surprised!"

"Well, I've finally gotten out of the office."

'This is why I had to pad my resume.'

That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.

'Hey you! You work here, don't you? You people could be in real trouble with the fire marshal for not having any smoke detectors! I assume they make regular inspections around here?'

"I'm from the agency. . ."

"Ok, first the good news..."

The devil makes work for idle hands...

Because of his inability to adapt to an eternity of torment, Jake was eventually kicked out of hell.

We should be fine, provided we keep one pitchfork apart.