Hell Enthusiast Pillows

'These days it isn't enough to be qualified in just fire or brimstone. Today you have to be proficient in both.'

'So the age of light touch regulation really is over.'

'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'

'This is why I had to pad my resume.'

"Ok, first the good news..."

"Down here every day is Monday."

The devil makes work for idle hands...

"That's one hell of a lawyer."

"Well, I've finally gotten out of the office."

Employee Of The Month

"What's this??"

Fire Regulations in Hell

"Wait a minute ... this isn't my timeshare!"

Devil with Fire and Brimstone In-Trays.

'On a more positive note, your hot flashes will seem relatively cool.'

"We hope the fire is raining to your liking, unfortunately we are having supply chain issues with the brimstone."

"Tarpits? A maintenance nightmare. We replaced them with office cubicles and never looked back!"

Money is the fruit of all evil.

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

"Our mortgage isn't bad, but we pay through the nose for fire insurance."

"Wow, Vanessa! What are you doing here?"

He keeps demanding the whistleblower's name.

"I remember telling you to go to hell, too."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Dead Funny

Chiller Theatre

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Solar Frankenstein

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"Harry?... Is that you?"

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'