Hell Humor Connoisseur Pillows

It's so frustrating! They always stop acting evil the minute you turn on the camera!

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Vlad the Impala

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"He's a guard dog."

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

The Family Joules: Part 21

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

Math Camp. I should have read the brochure more carefully before I signed up -- It says "Go on an add-venture and have sum fun"!

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

Knickerless Cage.

Malcolm Sargent

"Don't worry your majesty, they can't see you, this is a one way mirror."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Seven

'Take me to you lieder.'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"How was prom?"

The Family Joules: Part 3

Inaction Figure

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

I think my work ethic needs some work. Not to mention some ethics.